happy bookday to Jim Hines!

If I hadn’t been struck down yesterday by the Respiratory Bug of Suck, I would totally have gone to a bookstore today to buy Jim Hines’ new novel The Stepsister Scheme. Curse you, cold!

No, really. I enjoyed Jim’s goblin books, but this time he’s gotten away from those icky little blue guys and gone on to princesses! NINJA PRINCESSES! Which are, as everyone knows, the best kind.

Okay, so, yeah, this time he’s written a book so far up my alley it would be in my house if only I had the energy to go buy it. But if ninja princesses aren’t a big enough selling point on their own (what’s wrong with you people?), then I can also vouch for the author’s sense of humour and ability to play interestingly within the rules of the story-paradigm he’s exploring. Last time that was D&D-style fantasy; this time, it’s fairy tales, with Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella going all Charlie’s Angels on their problems. I do not know yet if there are any villains as awesome as Maleficent, but if not — hey! jimhines! Get on that!

I’m tempted to just let Amazon deliver it to my door, thus saving me a trip to the bookstore, but that would be going against my own advice, so I’ll have to wait a bit longer before I can read this one. But those of you who aren’t ill? You have no excuse.

Dude, this thing is HUGE.

I know that by the standards of modern monitor-dom, what’s sitting in front of me is kind of old-fashioned and poky. But there’s a 19-inch LCD on my desk now, and man, it’s going to take a while to get used to it.

Many thanks to kurayami_hime, who couriered it from Dallas, and to my parents, who donated it to the cause of bringing their daughter’s computer setup into the 21st century.

I can see, like, an entire page in Wordperfect now. Seeing as how I write in 12-point Times New Roman instead of standard manuscript format largely because it allows me to see more of the text at once, this is a non-trivial benefit. Also, there’s no longer a monitor stand taking up a chunk of desk — this one sits high enough on its own — and while I’ll miss the middle-shelf space the stand provided, it’s probably a good thing, given my propensity for losing things into the dusty back reaches of that shelf. Hey, now I’ve got space to put a book on the desk in front of me! Such luxury we have here at Castle N, Home Office Edition.

The cleaning of the Augean office got about four-fifths done and then stalled; I do need to finish it. But not tonight, nor tomorrow neither — not with the stupid respiratory bug that has camped out in my sinuses. My energy is reserved for getting some revision done tonight.

Mush!

I am shamelessly stealling Mrissa’s phrasing for this meme.

I have seen this elsewhere, but phrased in terms of force, and you are all, I feel sure, too inherently polite and too cognizant of your own bodily safety to ever want to force me to do anything. So I will ask it more politely:

If you could urge, persuade, or ask me to write any particular thing, what would it be?

London, after the apocalypse

Words cannot express the weirdness of this photo set.

Some of the places in it, I’ve never been. Others I’ve passed through — like Oxford Circus — but they’re not very familiar to me. But New Bridge Street? Fleet Street? I can point out the corner bookshop, tell you where the post office is, and how many blocks it is to Wasabi, where they have really cheap yakisoba. Which I traditionally eat on the steps of St. Paul’s Cathedral. I’ve gotten lunch in the crypt of this church, and walked through this underpass more times than I can count. This is the London I know — but not.

Words cannot express how bizarre it is to see those places utterly devoid of people. I’ve been there on a Sunday morning, when the City is mostly closed for business and so very few people are in sight, but “very few” and “none” are not the same thing. It’s as if the apocalypse happened, and this is London in the moments before nature begins to reclaim it.

I’d love to see similar photos of Boston, New York, other heavily populated areas — but I’m not sure you could ever catch them quite that deserted, even on a Christmas morning.

Consider.

A person with sangfroid.

A cold-blooded person.

Same denotation — but the connotations are so very, very different.

give me pulp adventure!

I have a yen right now for good pulp adventure fantasy. Things in the vein of Indiana Jones (the good films) or The Mummy. Things with ancient ruins and ancienter curses, heroic heroes and heroicer heroines, exotic settings, whip-cracking action, and the like. Books, movies, graphic novels — I don’t much mind what form it comes in. Slight preference for modern renditions of the genre, since I like actual characterization and female characters who aren’t just there to scream and get into trouble.

Recommend to me!

what I have done so far in 2009

Spent time at a party with some new friends and some people I hope might become friends.

Slept in.

Made plans for dinner with old friends.

Ate macaroni and cheese, my favorite comfort food.

Come up with some ideas for ANHoD.

Watched the end of season one of House with kniedzw.

Taken a hot bath.

Done research on Mesoamerica for “Chrysalis.”

Revised part of the Sekrit Revision Projekt.

They say you should begin as you mean to go on; I’m pretty happy with how it’s gone so far.

Hi, 2009. I’m looking forward to getting to know you.

Things I am eagerly anticipating in 2009:

1) President Barack Hussein Obama.

2) The release of In Ashes Lie.

Other stuff too, but those stick out particularly.

I don’t generally make resolutions, and I’m not going to make any right now, though you could argue that there’s only a semantic difference between that and what I am about to do, which is to talk more generally about a goal.

I’d like to get my discipline back.

Dear Friends Who Think I Am Ridiculously Disciplined Already: Thanks. I appreciate it. But I see all too clearly the ways in which I am not, some of which used to not be true. If there’s something I need to do — particularly something overdue — that I don’t feel like facing, then I avoid it like an avoidant thing, which does not in fact make the problem go away. If I don’t have a contract or deadline holding me on course, I flit from project to project, to the clear detriment of my productivity. And since I go to work at the end of my day instead of the beginning, it’s very easy for me to put off my start time — after all, I can just stay up later, and then sleep in tomorrow morning. The work gets done, but not in a sensible fashion.

I want my discipline back.

There’s no point in trying to set a year-long goal for that; the markers are too subjective. Let me say instead that I’d like to get three things done in January:

1) Revise the Sekrit Revision Projekt
2) Write “Chrysalis”
3) Work on ANHoD.

Leaving that third one vague because ANHoD is an unfinished spec project from two years ago that I’m only playing with while I wait for my marching orders on the novel front. My brain handed me some ideas for it this afternoon, though, so I might as well let it be my play project for now. If I don’t commit to that, I’ll flit around not committing to anything until the marching orders arrive, and the intervening time will be wasted.

So. A short story, a revision, and some fun.

I can do that.

last one!

Obviously I didn’t make it to twelve recommendations this year, but I realized today that I hadn’t gotten around to my annual Diana Wynne Jones rec. So this time it’s Archer’s Goon, which, while not in my first tier of favorites, is in about the first-and-a-halfth tier.

links to close out the year

Brief interview up at Reality Bypass, with me answering some questions and Lune answering a few more, a la Cat and Muse. Midnight Never Come has also ended up on a few people’s lists of their favorite books this year, which warms the cockles of my heart.

Also, since I have a few tabs that have been hanging around forever: another brief bit from me, more like a micro-guest blog than an interview, on the topic of crazy-ass research; and Darrin Turpin’s follow-up to my earlier post on monarchy in fantasy.

Happy New Year, all!

Bye, 2008. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

This year . . . has not been what I would call great.

I recognize that it could have been so very much worse. To pick just one example out of the cornucopia of possibilities: sure, kniedzw lost his job, but he got a new one quite rapidly, and it pays better and has one-eighth the commute. I am very well aware that the stresses I suffered this year were mostly low- to mid-grade; they were, to use adjective degree as the yardstick, bad and occasionally worse, but never worst.

Having said that? This year had a lot of stress, just kind of grinding along near-constantly, and man, I am so ready for it to be done. Of course, just because a line of braniacs from Pope Gregory XIII on back decided that the calendar should flip over around now doesn’t mean that anything is going to change — and yet, the symbol is a powerful one. People are going to wake up on January 1st with a subconscious sense that the world has been reset, that something has ended, and it’s time for something new to begin. I am very ready to hit that reset button.

It didn’t all suck. The class I taught this spring was an enormous challenge, but it was also the single most rewarding semester of my teaching career. Once I’ve had a little more time to get over my screaming NO I DON’T WANNA reaction to grading, I would be very glad to teach creative writing again, especially spec fic. And my honeymoon was pure delight: two of the most relaxing weeks of my life, and certainly the blue-ribbon winners for this year. I’m happy to be in San Mateo, even if I do miss my B-town friends, and I could list for you many smaller bright points.

But 2008 has managed to simultaneously vanish into thin air and overstay its welcome. Roll on, 2009, and may you be better than your predecessor.

And he said unto me, “It is done.”

“The Gospel of Nachash”

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meterZokutou word meter
5,916 / 5,916
(100.0%)

So it turned out to be more like 6,000 than 7,000 after all. Then again, I suspect it may need fleshing out in the latter bits. But that is not a task for tonight; tonight, I have completed a draft of this story, within the twelve days of Christmas (as I had hoped), and before the end of 2008. That makes this year’s output two novels and two short stories.

Man, my crit group is going to hate me for this thing — though I suspect one of them will expire in a fit of Judaic geekery instead.

Anyway. Draft! Yay! Critique and revision can wait until the new year, and then I get to figure out what magazines might want a piece that’s all about the style and the ideas, and not so much about characterization as we know it.

perspective

It’s all in how you count.

I don’t keep track of the words I produce each year, but I do keep a log of completed pieces, including their word counts. Glancing at that list is depressing right now: in 2006 I logged eight completed pieces, in 2007 five, and so far this year a whopping three. (It’ll be four if I can finish “The Gospel of Nachash.”) This does not look so good.

But out of curiosity, I added up word counts. So far this year? 208,800 words of completed fiction. Last year, 119,000. And 2006, the year that looked like the best of the three? A whopping 27,300.

The difference, of course, lies in what I was finishing. 2006 was eight short stories, one of them only eight hundred words long. I didn’t write a novel that year. In 2007 I wrote one (Midnight Never Come), and this year, I wrote two — Ashes and a YA project that has unfortunately gone bust for the time being. And none of those novels are carryover counts; all of them were started and completed within the calendar year. The short stories had more variation on that front, but as we’ve seen, they’re not where the lion’s share of the wordage is coming from.

Naturally, the upshot of doing this number-crunching is to make me ambitious to improve both metrics. Writing novels is all well and good, but I’m running out of short story inventory to shop, and while they may not pay much, I enjoy them, and I think they do serve a certain purpose in getting my name in front of new readers. On the other hand, years like 2006 are not something I can afford, if I’m to be doing this full-time writer thing. So really, what I’d like is to put out, oh, two novels and twelve short stories a year. That’s six months per novel, which is very much within my reach, and one short story a month.

I can do that, right?

Regardless of what I can or cannot do, I’m feeling better about what I’ve accomplished with this year. It may be only three four items (I will finish “The Gospel of Nachash,” dammit), but those four are pulling their weight.

progress of the progressing

Computer switchover achieved. I dealt with all the data before Christmas, but now I’ve got the physical setup in place. It’s not quite ideal; I need to replace my keyboard (the old one being non-USB, the USB loaner being non-ergonomic), and I decided to just stick my laptop on the monitor stand rather than mess with making it recognize my dinosaur of a CRT, but it’s working.

And the office itself is approaching something like clean! Which is not the victory it looks like, since, well, that cleanliness was achieved by creating a mighty stack of Papers To Be Sorted, but the psychological effect is not to be discounted. Now I’m going to go downstairs and Sort What Needs Sorting while watching Prince Caspian on our shiny new Blu-Ray player. (This was the big “Santa present” for kniedzw; mine was a new digital camera, replacing the one that went belly-up in Athens.)

I’m feeling like I might be able to get real work done tonight.

the Augean office

Today I am undertaking one of the labors of Hercules, which is to clean my office.

When we moved, I spent a couple of weeks operating off my laptop in various places: my parents’ house, my brother’s house, my own empty townhouse, waiting for our belongings to arrive. Finally they did, and I set up my office, and all seemed to be well.

But my desktop developed a chronic inability to hold a connection to our wireless network, which is a non-trivial problem for me; so much of what I do requires me to be looking things up on the internet, not to mention all the e-mail and such. (Plus we keep our music on a media server, so without wireless, I can’t listen to anything without stupid and suboptimal workarounds involving my iPod and portable speakers.) As a result, I increasingly found myself working on my laptop downstairs. This is both ergonimcally unsound and a recipe for disaster in my office, as I kept chucking stuff in here and never really dealing with it. Three months after opening the first box in this room, it had gone from ideal to uninhabitable.

Which has had a seriously detrimental effect on my ability to get work done. Last month I was within a sneeze of buying a new computer — as the root problem of this all was the wireless issue — but I decided to postpone such a big purchase for a while, and instead to shift over to Puck, my faithful little Vaio, as my main computer. The goal is to have this place cleaned up in the next three days, so that I can start out 2009 with a nice, habitable office, a computer that works as it should, and all the other things that encourage productivity.

Wish me luck. We’re not quite at the level of “the Ark of the Covenant could be in here somewhere” clutter, but it’s close. It’s long past time to get this shit sorted out, and get me back to something resembling stability.

but when the story stops doing . . . .

“The Gospel of Nachash”

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meterZokutou word meter
4,387 / 7,000
(61.0%)

Yes, the goalpost moved back 1,000 words.

Obviously I wrote more. I actually entertained a brief, delusional hope that I would finish tonight. But I’ve already done more than 3500 words this evening, and I might have an equal amount left to do — probably less, but I can’t be sure — so I think I’ll stop here. Especially since I haven’t put any thought into how exactly this next bit ought to happen.

Time to work on the theology some more.

ya gotta do what the story’s gotta do

“The Gospel of Nachash”

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meterZokutou word meter
2,709 / 6,000
(45.0%)

That 6,000 is, as usual, a guess.

I have embraced the fact that this story will not read like normal fiction, and that attempting to make it do so would be like sticking a bird on a bicycle and telling it to migrate south for the winter. It will get there faster and more effectively by just being itself. Which will, yes, limit the places I can submit the thing. But let’s face it: I’m writing an apocryphal gospel here, and if it reads like a piece of ordinary fiction instead of the King James Bible, I am, as the lolcats say, doin it rong.

I suspect I will write more before the night is over. I drank caffeine at the Boxing Day party tonight, so I ain’t going to sleep any time soon, and the KJV headspace is hard enough to get into that I should do as much as possible while I’m here.

a question for the SFWA types

As you know, Bob, the Nebula rules are a hair on the arcane side. So if somebody familiar with the process could pipe up in the comments and let me know if I’ve got this right, it would be much appreciated.

According to this Nebula report, Midnight Never Come is on the list of “recommended works.” My understanding is that this doesn’t just mean it’s eligible; it means at least one SFWA member has nominated it for the ballot. Am I correct so far?

And then it takes ten nominations to get on the Preliminary Ballot, yes? So here’s where I get confused. The whole “rolling eligibility” thing means, if I understand it, that MNC could be on the ballot for either 2008 or 2009. Does it have to get those ten recommendations before June of 2009 (one year after first U.S. publication), or before December of 2009 (end of calendar year after end of first year of publication)? The former makes more sense, but also seems like a lot more bookkeeping work for the awards folks. Then again, that would be in line with the kind of complaints I’ve heard about Nebula rules, so I’m guessing that’s the right answer.

It’s likely to be an academic curiosity, since I don’t expect to end up on the Preliminary Ballot. But this is the first time I’ve had cause to look at the Nebula rules, and I want to make sure I understand them right.

the music of Christmas, part four

This post? Is the reason I did this whole series. I figured if I was going to write up something about this one aspect of my Christmas traditions, I might as well talk about more of them. And the really real reason for the post is that I found a Youtube video weeks ago, that allows me to demonstrate what I’m talking about.

Which is the Vocal Majority.

As with Peter, Paul & Mary, these are not people I generally listen to. They’re a barbershop chorus, and I do not especially like the barbershop sound, at least not in large quantities. But I think the existing melodies of Christmas carols confine the barbershop-ness of their arrangements, or maybe they just tone it down, or maybe I don’t hear it as much on these albums, or something. I have no perspective. With the occasional exception (“Little Altar Boy”), their Christmas songs do not sound barbershop to me.

They just sound awesome.

The Vocal Majority is a chorus of 150+ men with some of the most amazing diction and dynamics you have ever heard. Their lyrics are crystal clear, and they can go from full-bore fortissimo belting down to almost-inaudible pianissimo in about half a second flat. How good are they? The rules of the International Chorus Championship say that when a group wins, they can’t compete for the following two years. The VM won in 1975, placed second in 1978, won in 1979, and has proceeded to win every three years like clockwork ever since then. If they manage it again next year, that’ll be a thirty-year unbroken streak.

I promised to talk about my other favorite Christmas carol recording, and I told lady_puck9999 that I would have something to say about “O Holy Night.” Unsurprisingly, these two things coincide. The sound quality on the following video is crap, regrettably, but it should give you an idea of the real thing, which puts chills down my spine every. time. I hear it. You want “O Holy Night,” I’ll give you “O Holy Night.”*

My apologies to all the church choirs and soprano soloists out there, but as far as I’m concerned, they shouldn’t even try. “O Holy Night” rendered by anything less than a hundred and fifty men is a pale subsitute for the real thing. I’ve heard the VM in concert, many a time, and let me tell you — in live performance, it’s like being smacked in the face by a solid wall of sound. When they sing “Fall on your knees”? You feel like FALLING ON YOUR KNEES.

If men’s choruses are your thing, or you want a rendition of “O Holy Night” that makes you believe the angel voices are huge resonant basses instead of sopranos with way too much vibrato, you can buy a recording or three. The Secret of Christmas is the one with the good rendition of “O Holy Night;” for some reason they over-orchestrated it on The Twelve Days of Christmas, instead of leaving it with just the organ. But there are other good songs on Alleluia, and even Twelve Days, which rehashes a lot of songs done elsewhere, redeems itself with “Do You Hear What I Hear?,” another favorite of mine.

These guys, more than anything, are my Christmas inheritance from my father. I have childhood memories (if by “childhood” I mean anything up to and including the present day) of him singing along with “The Little Drummer Boy” — I told you I had reasons of association to like that song — and I think I’ve assimilated harmonic lines from their “O Come All Ye Faithful” into some part of my DNA. They are the sound of Christmas to me, and my father’s the one I got them from.

And every year, I regretfully put their albums away, and promise myself that the day after Thanksgiving, I can hear “O Holy Night” again.

*Ignore the bit where it says “The Battle of Jericho.” That song’s on the video claiming to be “O Holy Night.”

the music of Christmas, part three

This next CD, I also associate with my father, though properly speaking I don’t know which one of my parents it originated with.

It’s the Peter, Paul, and Mary Christmas album, simply called A Holiday Celebration. This is from some live concert they did — I’ve seen the video — and despite the fact that I have zero interest in or knowledge of that trio outside of this single recording, it’s one of my absolute favorites.

Not everything on it is great. I despise “The Cherry Tree Carol” on general principle, and Mary’s rendition doesn’t help; according to my mother, her voice had very much gone downhill by then. (Mris, you’d probably dislike her performance of “I Wonder As I Wander,” though I’m okay with it.) And, you know, “Blowin’ in the Wind” is an odd choice for the season. But it has a lot of other selections I’ve never heard anywhere else, like “The Magi” and “Children Go Where I Send Thee,” and variety is a good thing to have around this time of year. It also has two Hannukah songs — “Hayo, Haya” and “Light One Candle” — which hold the distinction of being some of the only members of that genre that sound like actual songs in their own right, rather than somebody’s misguided attempt to make Hannukah More Like Christmas. In other words, I believe the songwriters had something they wanted to express about that holiday; they weren’t just cranking something out to provide a Jewish alternative to all the carols. And “Hayo, Haya” is lovely if you’ve got a thing for melancholy, minor songs.

Speaking of which . . .

If there were nothing else I liked on this CD, I would still want to own it, if only for “A Soalin’.” I don’t know if there’s some folklore/musicology term for what I’m thinking of, but it’s in the genre of “beggar songs” in my head, the ones that are about people coming around in the cold of winter and asking for charity, with many blessings for the generous, or for those too poor to share. “Gower Wassail” is another, and “A Pace Egging Song,” though I don’t think that one’s season-specific. (Why do I have these song titles to hand? Because they turned into a story. I should update that page; the story hit print months ago.)

“A Soalin'” is simply beautiful. It’s solemn but quietly hopeful; it has counterpoint and guitar of exactly the sort I love. (And a little bit of irony, thanks to the line “One for Peter, two for Paul; three for Him who made us all” — given who’s performing it.) I very much like “The Magi,” which generally causes my father and I to stop whatever we’re doing and sing along when it comes up on the shuffle, and I’ve already mentioned “Hayo, Haya,” but “A Soalin'” is one of my two favorite tracks on any Christmas album I own. Depending on my mood, it places either first or second. (What’s the other? Wait for tomorrow’s post.)

And if I recall correctly, my father went to great lengths to make sure I would have it. We’d had the CD for a number of years — which may have been difficult to get in the first place; I can’t remember — and it was such a staple of our music rotation that he went the extra mile and got copies for both myself and my brother. Most of my other childhood favorites, I have now because I burned dupes from my parents’ CDs, but this one I properly own. And I’m very glad I do.