Ladies and gentlemen of the internets,

I am writing you this missive from the kitchen of my residence. It is a southward-facing room, and the doors to the rest of the house are shut. The oven is turned on, and twenty-four candles burn on my counters. Thanks to these measures, I am tolerably warm; though my toes are a bit cold, I am not wearing gloves, and the blanket I had wrapped around me is currently on the floor. I am, however, still wearing thick socks and slippers, sweatpants, a long-sleeved shirt, a sweatshirt, and my nice warm bathrobe.

From this fortress I shall await the arrival of the man who is to fix our furnace.

If you do not hear from me again, please retrieve my frozen body from this kitchen and give it proper burial.

0 Responses to “”

  1. drydem

    Our shower ran out of hot water this morning as I put in my conditioner, which is a 3 minute conditioner

  2. gollumgollum

    If you need a place to warm up, you’re always welcome here. Give us a call first to make sure we’re around.

    • Marie Brennan

      I kind of should be here when the repair man comes, unfortunately. Hence the construction of the fortress.

      • gollumgollum

        Understandable. But calling and giving them a piece of your mind about how it’s below zero and you have no heat and they can let themselves in to fix the damn furnace because you’re going to go somewhere that doesn’t require *open flame* to keep yourself from developing hypothermia would also be understandable.

        We also have space blankets if you need them–just call. Also, if once they get there and fix it, you decide that staying someplace warm would be preferable to waiting for your house to warm up, our offer is still extended.

        Be careful with that oven, though. That worries me a bit.

        • Marie Brennan

          I am indeed being careful with the oven. But really, I figure using it for warmth isn’t fundamentally more dangerous than using it for a long session of baking.

          I wouldn’t say no to a space blanket if you wanted to bring one by, but I’m staying put for the time being. (I don’t particularly want to go into the rest of the house, let alone outside.)

          • gollumgollum

            We’ll bring space blankets by this afternoon.

            Surly can tell you the mechanics of it, but by heating with the oven, you are letting carbon monoxide and other combustion by-products loose into your kitchen, rather than out the oven’s ventilation system. You’re probably okay if you stay off of the floor (where it’ll settle), but i’d advise a)keeping a carbon monoxide detector around, b)not sleeping in there, and c)staying alert and getting out of there if you feel dizzy or sleepy or anything else that may signal impending hypoxia.

          • Marie Brennan

            I am indeed keeping an eye out for these things. But mostly the heat’s coming out the ventilation system (and through general radiation); I’m only opening the door periodically, when it feels a bit chilly in the room.

            And hell no, I’m not sleeping in here. If this hasn’t been fixed by evening, Kyle and I will be shopping for a place to stay the night.

          • gollumgollum

            Okay. That makes me feel better.

            We’re leaving around 2 to go up to Indy; we’ll bring the space blankets over then.

            And we have a fully-furnished spare bedroom if you need it. Give a holler so we can get some of the camera gear out of the way first. (Although by sleeping, i meant dozing off over your boring reading. πŸ˜‰

          • coyotewatches

            You should, like, at least bake some cookies or something.

            πŸ˜€

        • kniedzw

          I was likewise worried about the oven, but her argument about the baking session was compelling.

          That said, I am personally agitating for her to learn how to bake a bit better, so I have a cake or something to come home to this evening. She’s using the oven, after all….

    • akashiver

      I too was going to offer my apt, should you need a warm space to work. I’m on campus right now, but I’m planning on heading back shortly.

      • unforth

        Ditto warm places to go that aren’t home – I have to go to class, but I don’t mind ya hanging out here, my place is nice and warm.

  3. unforth

    We lost our furnace in January in Binghamton a few years back; had no heat for three days. When they finally got it fixed, the warmest room in the house (the one with two space heaters in it, only one window, and blankets hung over the doorways so the heat wouldn’t escape) was in the 40’s; the rest of the house was about 20 degrees. It’s a wonder our pipes didn’t freeze.

    Which is to say, I feel your pain. πŸ™ Hope it gets fixed soon.

  4. coyotewatches

    Well, there is always the fireplace of Casa Big Sky where I shall be constructing a very large fire soon to fight off the evening wind. Of course that would mean driving out here in sub-zero temps for twenty minutes, getting warm, and then driving back through the cold to a house that…

    Oh.. nevermind.

    From my two winters spent in a yurt… you have my sympathy.

    Scotch is a god-send. I’m just saying…

  5. d_c_m

    Oh no!!! I am so sorry to read about the cold having attacked your house by means of furnace murder. Sigh.

    May it get fixed soon or I will back kniedzw 100% in choking a bitch.

  6. danielmc

    if escape is still needed in the days to come (i trust not, see: choke a bitch), my place is empty, warm, and full of kitty goodness during the day.

  7. squishymeister

    well, if I was permitted to access LJ at the school, I would have seen this earlier. But I ditto everyone else on the offer of “warm space” I’ve been keeping our apartment at 75+, and we have wi-fi and it’s close to your abode, should you need a brief thawing time.

    That said…what is it with your guys’ karma lately? It’s like God is taking a big dump on you!

  8. kitsune_zen

    Everyone else is being nice, so I’m just gonna say that if you get frozen in your house I’m going to vote for leaving you there so that they can find your frozen body during the next interstitial and deduce our subsistance mode from the preserved contents of your stomach.

    Your death will be a great contribution to science.

    • kniedzw

      I veto this.

      Sorry. πŸ™‚

    • Marie Brennan

      Don’t you mean interglacial? Or is it also going to be a great contribution to art that breaks genre boundaries?

      • ninja_turbo

        This makes me want to write a story about how the corpse of China Mieville spelled the final end of the boundaries between Science Fiction and Fantasy…or something. Or, on the other hand, how his mysterious sparked a secterial split in spec fic that raged for decades.

        Anything to avoid working.

      • kitsune_zen

        “Hey, what’s that over there?” [points behind bneuensc]

        “Huh, what?” [bneuensc turns]

        WHAP!! [the kitsune hits bneuensc over the head with a frozen squid]

        “Thbbbpppttt! Interstitial that!” [kitsune runs off laughing, hacking and wheezing]

        [bneunesc groans and waits for the next interglacial]

  9. ninja_turbo

    Just think of it, though. Now you’ll have a better experiential source to draw from when writing and characterizing people huddled in the cold!

    Method Acting/Immersive Experience for Greater Storytelling Fu!

    Also, I hope the furnace repair-er comes soon.

  10. diatryma

    It annoys me when houses are not as warm as they should be. My thermostat is a little wonky– I set it at seventy and independent thermometers range from sixty to sixty-five.
    If you cannot take a long hot bath, I suggest baking something that involves lots of dishes that you then have to wash. Hot water will do a lot of good.

    • Marie Brennan

      Except my hands would freeze the minute they were no longer in the hot water. I did, however, boil off some water to both warm and humidify the air (since I needed to brush my hair, and was pretty sure I would die on the spot if I didn’t do something about the static first).

      • diatryma

        I heard some time ago that coconut oil is very good for hair, and so I periodically smear some on and spend a day slack and greyish. When I brush my hair full of oil, it still stands up. If only I could harness an entire winter’s static all at once– I’d be unstoppable!

        • Marie Brennan

          A friend of mine has an anti-static hairbrush, which I used the other weekend.

          It’s magical.

          I’m going to go out and buy one just as soon as I get a chance.

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