Earlier today, I posted the #3Things story to Twitter. Here, in its random glory, is the whole thing:
Buffeted by storm winds, the little lost hummingbird whirled and spun through the air, incapable of even falling. #3Things (1/14)
Her ordeal ended when the winds blew her into a screen of leaves. There she stayed until the storm ended & she fell down. #3Things (2/14)
Where am I? she thought (but did not say — hummingbird tongues are not good for speaking with). #3Things (3/14)
“Why, you are on an aspidochelone.” #3Things (4/14)
The hummingbird looked around to see who had spoken. She saw nothing except a lethal-looking spiky thing on the ground. #3Things (5/14)
“Yes,” I spoke,” the object said. It communicated by means of a revoltingly strong, nauseating odor. #3Things (6/14)
What’s that? the hummingbird wondered. She didn’t know whether hummingbirds could vomit, but she thought she might find out #3Things (7/14)
“I am a durian — the King of Fruits,” the spiky thing said proudly, emitting a wave of raw-sewage smell. #3Things (8/14)
The hummingbird wished desperately for some nectar to clear her palate and wondered what an aspidochelone was. #3Things (9/14)
“It’s a huge creature mistaken for an island because of vegetation,” the durian said. (It had looked this up on Wikipedia.) #3Things (10/14)
“You’ll never return to your eggs or your favorite flower. The aspidochelone is swimming out to sea with us atop its back.” #3Things (11/14)
The hummingbird leapt into the air, desperate to fly home before it was too late, but the durian shot her with its spikes. #3Things (12/14)
These were tipped with sleeping poison, and so the hummingbird fell to the ground once more, dazed and weak. #3Things (13/14)
“I may be the King of Fruits,” the durian said, “but I am a mere servant of this island, and its flowers need pollination.” #3Things (14/14)
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Many thanks to @lrushlau for the hummingbird, @KarenMemory for the aspidochelone, and @charlesatan for the sentient durian! #3Things